We often hear the expression “I’m stressed,” and nothing sounds unusual, especially after two years of a pandemic, global military conflicts, and in anticipation of a possible economic crisis. Prolonged stress is what makes us experience every negative emotion vividly and exaggeratedly. If we were to analyze the behaviors, beliefs, and personal attitudes we had two years ago and compare them to those we have now, we would notice a series of changes, and anxiety is probably what the majority of people have in common today. Therefore, impatience, irritability, and anger manifest more strongly, and sometimes we even see how our way of relating to others is affected. We tend to observe the mood changes of those around us, especially family members, and blame them for various shortcomings without realizing our own changes.
In the two years of the pandemic, talking to children, teenagers, and parents, I found that many fears are related to a future that seems quite unpredictable on many levels and the communication issues that generations have, especially as impatience or frustration intolerance have increased.
The mix of unhealthy emotions has changed relationships and the quality of life for many, but no matter how aware we are that this period will end at some point, it is important to know how to face it so that we can gain something from this experience. On the other hand, many parents feel guilt or helplessness because they do not know what reasonable and reassuring explanations to offer their children regarding military conflicts or other dangers discussed in all the environments the children frequent or hear about on television. What should be done? First of all, we need to know that the past is the best predictor for the future, so we should look at how people have faced challenges throughout history and how we ourselves have coped in difficult situations. Secondly, it is necessary to balance the emotions so that, as adults, we can be supportive to children. How do we reach this balance? By analyzing, tempering, and normalizing our own emotions, and if we find it difficult, we can do this with the help of a psychologist or a psychotherapist. Thirdly, we need to pay attention to small joys or short-term goals because, as we know, building plans and focusing on strategy help us emotionally balance and mobilize.
Although a parent recently told me that he feels shipwrecked in an ocean of emotions and believes he himself does not know how to cope with it, I noticed in what he shared that he found suitable ways to support his child. What the adult lacked was feedback, self-balancing, and encouragement to continue. When we discover that we have unexplored personal resources and a great capacity for resilience, it is like finding a seatbelt, and thus, we begin to feel more confident in ourselves.
Take care of your physical and mental health!
Psychologist-Psychotherapist Lorena Diaconescu
